Smorgasbord: A Disturbing Glimpse Into The Psyche Of A Novelist
Note to self: Don’t eat in the dark. The remote control for the soundbar to my television is NOT a chocolate bar, no matter how much it may feel like […]
Death Wish: Writing Your First Novel
Rules For Writing A Novel: Best Advice About Writing A Novel: Possibly Useful Suggestions For Masochists Who Still Want To Write A Novel, Though If I Were You I Wouldn’t […]
A Partial List Of The Things I Hate
Spiders with body hair. Alarm clocks. February in Iowa. Grapefruit. Poets that go out of their way to be incomprehensible. Laugh tracks in old movies and sitcoms. Rubbery shrimp. Reality […]
Why I Love Patrick O’Brian But Also Wish I Could Knee Him In The Balls
First off, Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey-Maturin series is not for everyone. Twenty novels long, it is relentlessly convoluted and wildly idiosyncratic. (He was working on the twenty-first installment when he keeled […]
The Glamorous Life Of A Writer
As a novelist, the three main questions I get asked are: Let’s tackle these one at a time. What’s your writing process? When I first start a novel, I […]
French-Fried
I’ve been studying French for seven years. I’ve rarely worked as hard at anything in my life. I’ve taken private lessons from two gifted and patient French teachers; I practice […]
Food Is Better Than Sex
Sure, a romp in bed with a lover or two can be fun, but give me a heaping bowl of cassoulet any day of the week. Foreplay is lovely, but […]
Drowning In Words
I’m a swimmer. A really slow, inept, flapping-around-like-a-fish-on-dry-land kind of a swimmer, but a swimmer nonetheless. I love being in water; I love the repetitious mindlessness of laps; I love […]
Losing My Virginity
I have no idea what I am doing. I’m a classic introvert. Whenever someone asks me questions about my life I never know how to respond; I usually just stare […]